Have you ever realized, quite by accident, how technically inept you are? Just when I thought I was doing pretty good on Facebook and blogging, I was just shocked when I found a message in an inbox on Facebook that I have never looked at, and the message indicator did not pop up until last week. It was the “Other” inbox. There it was…a message dated October 2011 from a young man named Colby. I have never met Colby, but I do know his relatives. It was the most meaningful, touching, encouraging message and I was just sick that I didn’t get the message when he sent it to me! He has been reading this blog. I immediately wrote back trying to explain my delinquency and to tell him how touched I was by his message. What caused that message indicator to suddenly pop up??
I was in Tyler at the time and I was talking to my sister, Jan, about it. She said something that I wasn’t thinking about, and I instantly knew she was right. She said maybe I needed that message more right now than I did back in October! It made me start thinking all about timing. I have always believed that whatever is best for me, if I have faith, will happen. But I want it to happen right now! When I was really sick last year after my stem cell transplant, I remember thinking…when I get past the 100 days, I will be feeling great! Feeling great after 100 days might happen for some, but was totally unrealistic for me! Then I moved up my deadline for being well every now and then. At almost 1 year post transplant, I am now saying maybe 2 years will be right! I was told at MD Anderson in my survivorship class that it usually takes 1 to 2 years. I should just have faith that it will happen whenever the time is right and to keep working on wellness. I still have to be weaned off of prednisone, and then immune suppressant drugs, with no graft vs host disease problems before my donor’s immune system takes off. Then I will be a new person with the immune system of my donor, a 19 year old young man! That is totally awesome to me! My whole point is that I don’t always know what is best for me, and how timing plays such an important factor in every facet of my life. I have to rely on my motto, “I’m going to fake it until I make it”, and not worry about timing. There are so many good things happening right now! Like Colby! Without even knowing him, I know that he is a very caring, outstanding young man, and that his parents are very, very proud of him.
This blog is to you Colby! Thank you so very much for your kind words, your understanding and knowledge! What a blessing you are! Thank you Colby for being so patient with me, and for encouraging me! May God bless you!